What All Soul Purpose Seekers Need to Know About Relationships

Nov 14, 2019

Welcome to Module six of 12 in what I'm calling Ignite Your Soul Purpose, designed to help you start living the life that you are here to live at this time and in this place, to truly live. In this module, we're going to look at the three core relationships on our path to living our soul purpose on a daily basis.

I Have Companionship

As always, I'm going to start off with a reading from 365 Days of Richer Living (Amazon Associates link) by Ernest Holmes and Raymond Charles Barker. And by the way, when I do these readings from this book, I'm only reading a portion of the page. The second half of each day is affirmations, which I don't go through here. So pick up the book, it's great.

So today is titled, I have companionship, from Psalm 119:63. "I am a companion of them that fear thee, and of them that keep thy precepts." Kind of old fashioned, but I like this part. "We all long for intimate relationships. We wish to feel that we are one with people. This yearning, which every normal person has, emanates from an unconscious but spiritual perception that we are all one in life itself. Where there is no sense of rejection, there will be no loneliness."

Love that! It's basically saying that we're all interconnected, and one. So, it's difficult to have any issues with other people when you see we all are one.

Gratitude and PURETM Goals

We're going to work on relationship goals in this module, and whenever we sit down to contemplate our vision and our goals, we want to start with gratitude. What is it today that you are grateful for, or relative to your relationships? Your relationship with your higher power, your relationship with yourself, and your relationship with others? Those are the three aspects that we're going to cover today.

And remember, when we sit down to write goals, we want to make them PURETM. Instead of the old SMART formula, I'm advocating the PURETM formula, which is:

  1. P for perfect world. In other words, make your goal, your aspirational goal, the one that would be what you would want in your perfect world.
  2. U for unlimited and from how and when you're free from space and time limitations, which we're going to talk about next week. How could you be unlimited in this goal of relationships?
  3. R for right now. So, make it present tense, make your goals stated as it's already done, because when it's already done in your mind, it pulls it towards you much faster than if you're thinking it's somewhere out in the future.
  4. E for emotional, emotionally charged, make your goal emotionally charged. Make it something that you can really get into and feel excited about, and have it along with those feelings of already done again because it pulls it in closer to you.

The Commandments Summary and The Golden Rule

I've already mentioned there are three core relationships that we're going to talk about in this module. Let's start off with Luke 10:27 where Jesus laid out these three relationships beautifully when he was asked what is the greatest commandment? And he said in Luke 10:27, "Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your strength and with all of your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself." I don't know how you can get any clearer than that. Jesus was very, very clear. 

1: Relationship with Higher Power

First is the number one priority, which I've said from the very first module, focus on the relationship with your higher power: be aligned to your higher power, be connected to your higher power, every minute of every day.

I was reading Richard Rohr, and this morning he was talking about how the Holy Spirit creates this kind of field of love. When you can connect into that field, great things can happen in your life. And in particular in relationships. 

So, of the three core relationships, number one is what's your relationship with your higher power? I've talked about that throughout all these modules. That's got to be there. That's the foundation. That's the one thing that if you don't do anything else, you do that. Remember what Jesus said, you've got to "love your [higher power] with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your strength, and all your mind." It's not like a partial kind of connection. It's a full on deal where you're connected, and you have that relationship!

Now let's say we got that sorted out. We got this really strong connection. Well, the good news is, when you get that relationship right, all the other ones work out.

2: Relationship with Yourself

The second part of what Jesus said, I don't know if most of you know this, but the part of "love your neighbor as yourself" was actually first written down in the Code of Hammurabi over 1,700 years before Jesus walked the earth. So this concept of "love your neighbor as yourself" is also known as the Golden Rule, and it appears in almost every known religion, as well as most ethnic traditions.

One of the things that I think gets missed on the Golden Rule is it's starts off with "your neighbor." So, people tend to focus on, "Oh, I need to be good to my neighbor." But the second half of that statement is, "as you would yourself", "love your neighbor as yourself." So, you need to love yourself too! I think a lot of people don't love themselves to the degree that they probably should. And we're going to talk about that a little bit here, because it's very important to love yourself, and it's not selfish as I will explain.

So, what's your relationship with yourself? Here is a link to the top 100 love yourself quotes. It's really fun. I found it when I was researching for this module. I think you'll enjoy it. So, click on that and check it out.

My coach used to say, and I've heard other people say this too that loving yourself is like when you go fly an airplane, what do they tell you? "If we lose the oxygen, put the mask on yourself first." It's like if you are not whole and complete and healthy, then you can't take care of other people, you can't be there for other people.

So, again, if you focus on the primary relationship with your higher power, your relationship with yourself is going to get cleaned up, and then that allows you to blossom, and be this incredible person for other people that they're longing for. People want to be connected. So, when you can clear out your stuff and be totally present, you're going to draw people in, and you're going to draw incredible people into your life.

3: Relationship with Others

The third primary relationship is with others.  I tend to think about relationship with others in terms of concentric rings, in the core, your family, and then your community and then your country and then the world. We need to think about all those different relationships and the very complex way we plug into the global community at all those levels.

What is your relationship to the world? Maybe you don't even have a relationship to the world. I know many people that haven't even stepped outside the country. When you do get a chance to go out and travel the world, what you will find is that pretty much everybody is like you. And everybody has the same goals in terms of the core goals, of "I just want to be at peace", and "I want to be healthy", and "I want to have a good family". Pretty much everybody aspires to those things.

The 5 Others Rule

One of the things about relationships to others and yourself is that you are like the five people that you hang out with the most, the five people that you're closest to around you. Do a little self-assessment.

  1. Do you like the five people that are around you the most?
  2. Are they a little bit above your level, so that they're pulling you forward?

An example of being pulled forward by others is my son is on his high school golf team. I love golf because it's very clean and pure in terms of how you're rated. It's just what did you score? They rank everybody based on your score. Now my son is a really good golfer. He's like a five or six handicap, but he's number 13 or 14 on the team. Why? Because there are people that are objectively better than him, and I love it! Because if he was at any other school, he would be the number one player on the team. However, because of the school he goes to and the caliber of talent that's at that school, he's got all these guys that are playing better than him, and they pull him up. They make him a better player.

So, use that concept of how could you put people around you that are better than you, that pull you up, that make you a better person? Look for opportunities to do that

As things evolve through this quarter and into next year, I'm going to be talking about an opportunity to hank out with high caliber people, because one of the things I want to do with the work that I'm doing here is build a community, and I want to invite you into that community. So, say stay tuned for information on that.

Module 6 Action Steps

The first action step is to meditate on the three core relationships.

  1. Are they where you want them to be?
  2. What more could you do to fulfill your relationship goals?
  3. Are you doing everything that you could do there?

 Do the Module 6 meditation as many times as you need to to get clear on your relationship goals.

The second action step is, this is going to be a really hard one for some of you, but this is a big one. This is probably the hardest action step I've given you to date. Do you have any estranged relationships from the past? If the answer is yes, and there's any bad energy there, there's some disconnect with somebody, then I want you to write those people's names down. Then here's the hard part, pick up the phone and call them, tell them that you love them, and you will be amazed at the opening that you're going to create for love to flow into your world. Because you see all these little blocks that you have around these past relationships, if this is true for you, is really mucking up your space, and you need to clear that out in order for love to flow into your space. So, if you've got a bunch of unfinished business with people, go finish that business. Tell them that you love them, be the bigger person, and you know what, they're going to love it. I've heard so many stories of people who were afraid to do this action step, and when they did, things worked out incredibly well, and the person was so happy that for the call and was so glad that their friend took the first step.

I used to study Aikido, and one of the core principles of Aikido is that it takes two to tango. So, an Aikido master actually doesn't engage in combat. What an Aikido master does is stand calm in the middle of the chaos around him, and deflects this energy that's coming at him through the moves, so that the Aikido master can be in the center and can be in a place of peace.

So, when you think about these relationships, or these estranged relationships that you have out there, if there's any attacking kind of energy, be the Aikido master, stand in the middle, deflect their negative energy if that's coming at you, and just give back love. 

Module 6 Resources

  1. Recommended Reading / Blog Posts
    1. BOOK: 365 Days of Richer Living (Amazon Associates link) by Ernest Holmes and Raymond Charles Barker 
    2. BOOK: I Am (Amazon Associates link) by Howard Falco
    3. BOOK: Relationships with Everything and Everyone (Amazon Associates link) by William Linville
    4. BOOK: You are a Badass (Amazon Associates link) by Jen Sincero
    5. BOOK: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying (Amazon Associates link) by Bronnie Ware
    6. BOOK: What I Know for Sure (Amazon Associates link) by Oprah Winfrey
    7. BLOG: How to Translate Your Vision Into Goals
    8. BLOG: Goal Setting Mastery
    9. BLOG: How to Energize Your Vision and Goals
    10. BLOG: SMART is not PURE When it Comes to Goals
    11. BLOG: Sage Advice from the Dying
    12. BLOG: How to Build Better Human Beings via Dinner
  2. Recommended Resources
    1. Go here for an 88% discount on the mini-course "Discover Your True Purpose Formula"
    2. Go here for a 90% discount on the mini-course "The 9-to-5 Escape Plan System"
    3. Go here to sign up for a Free True Purpose Strategy Coaching Session

Module 6 Guided Meditation

[NOTE: if you are reading this post, it is recommended that you use the post video for the guided meditation. Go to 12 minutes and 50 seconds to begin the guided meditation. The words of the guided meditation are shown below.]

Let's get relaxed. Go ahead and sit your chair, take a deep breath, get in touch with your body, and I'm going to walk through these three primary relationships, and  give you some questions here to think about, to meditate on.

  1. What is your relationship with your higher power?
  2. How would you summarize it in a single word?
  3. Are you pursuing alignment with your higher power, or separation?
  4. What more could you do, or be to achieve 100% alignment with your higher power?

Now let's talk about yourself.

  1. How would you summarize your relationship with yourself in a single word?
  2. Are you putting the oxygen mask on yourself, so that you can be there 100% for others?
  3. Are you engaging in forms of escapism to avoid dealing with yourself, and with others?
  4. What more could you be, or do to take better care of yourself?

And now, for your relationship with others,

  1. How would you summarize your relationship with others in one word?
  2. Are you choosing time to be in relationship with other people?
  3. How could you choose more time to be in relationship?
  4. What people, or types of people do you need to bring close to you to improve your relationship with others, and yourself?
  5. What people that are close to you do you need to spend less time with?
  6. Who are you struggling with currently?
  7. Who have you struggled with in the past, and have unresolved issues?

Speak to those people that you're struggling with now, or have struggled with in the past. Speak to them now, in this moment. Speak to their higher selves and tell them that you're sorry. Tell them that you love them. Tell them that you wish nothing but abundance in their lives.

If you struggled or became emotional during this meditation, do you need somebody to help you with your relationships? Do you need professional help to improve your relationship with your higher power, your self, and/or other people?

As we bring this meditation to a close, take a deep breath, open your eyes, and take some notes if anything came up for you, and we'll see you in the next module.

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